Do you ever feel lonely?
Tonight, before getting into bed, I went to my front door to check and make sure it was locked. I was pretty sure I locked it when I came in, but it can’t hurt to check, right? Plus, I needed to turn off a light that was right next to the door. Sure enough, it wasn’t locked.
I realized when walking back into my bedroom that if I hadn’t checked, it would have gone unlocked all night. There’s no one else here to check it, and no one anywhere to wonder if I checked it or make sure I did. It’s not that I don’t have people who care about me, who wouldn’t be upset if anything ever happened to me, but I don’t have a person who feels responsible for me. I don’t have a person who worries about me every second of the day, who thinks about things like if I locked my door and can’t fall asleep until they know I have. There is no one to tuck me in at night.
I suppose that’s all a part of growing up, taking responsibility for yourself and being an adult. I’m learning and getting more and more used to it. But sometimes, it gets lonely.
Tonight, I’m lonely.
