Love.
In the last two weeks, I have attempted to define what it is exactly that I’m looking for. Or rather, who it is exactly that I’m looking for. I guess a bad break-up will do that to a girl. And while I feel like this is an idea I will never be able to fully define (until I actually meet him), I feel like I have a sketchy outline. And I will write it down here.
I’m looking for a man who excites my mind. Who will teach me things. Without being condescending or annoying, but just out of the pure joy of telling me something I don’t know and watching the fascination and interest pass across my face. Who will answer my questions without making me feel small for asking them in the first place. Who will ask me questions. Who will let me teach him things. Who craves knowledge. Who reads. Who will race home to tell me something new. Who will converse with me, my family, my friends on everything from politics to sports to religion to the new restaurant in town. Who will do all this with great respect and kindness.
I’m looking for a man who excites my heart. Who I will catch doing sweet and selfless things that make me smile. Who sees good in others and is genuinely hurt when he sees bad. Who is caring. Who will surprise me with random acts of kindness. Who will surprise me at all. Who will rub my feet when they are tired, scratch my back when it itches, sweep my hair off of my face when it falls and wipe the tears from my eyes when I’m crying on his shoulder. Who will squeeze my hand before he lets it go. Who will create a secret sign language for only us to know. Who will use it at a party when he is ready to go home and be with just me. Who will have the confidence to make new friends if I’m not ready or can’t leave the party just yet.
I’m looking for a man who excites my body. Who, when he smiles at me, makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world and makes me self-concious at the same time. Who takes care of himself, knowing I will depend on him for years to come. Who makes me proud to walk into a room with him. Who makes me give a “he’s mine” look to every girl in that room. Who will give a “she’s mine” look to every guy in that room. Who will pick me up and carry me places without my asking or even my consent. Who will grab the back of my neck when he kisses me. Who will grab my back to hold me up once he is done kissing me.
I’m looking for a man who excites my soul. Who is ready and willing to walk together in faith. Who will pray with me. Who will hold me accountable. Who will want and appreciate me holding him accountable. Who will remind me God is most important, and who will focus our lives around him. Who will turn to God in times of happiness and times of sorrow. Who will go to church with me every Sunday, hold my hand, sing songs, listen to the sermon, and drive home - the entire time thanking God for bringing me into his life and asking him for support and guidance in leading me through this world, knowing we will spend eternity together in the next.
